Class of 2008

Lance Alworth
1B
Wears a Milwaukee hat.

Lance Alworth overcame the handicap of being born white to become a pretty good wide receiver, for a white guy. He actually played running back at Arkansas, which will someday be a fact that people view with a mix of shock and amusement, sort of like looking at one of those horrible racist figurines that people who are by no means racist at all collect and display on their knick-knack shelves for all of their white friends to get a kick out of. Anyway, Lance Alworth got to wear everyone's favorite duds for the San Diego Chargers for 9 years, and then unfortunately for him got traded to the Dallas Cowboys (unfortunate since that trade doomed him to eternal torment in the fires of Hell for all eternity) and then some voters felt sorry for him for being so white so they put him in the real Hall of Fame, the football one, but it doesn't matter because everyone gets into that one eventually. So to summarize, Lance Alworth played football and was white, not necessarily in that order, and if he was a shade of paint he'd be eggshell the end.

Class of 2007

Agent Orange
3B
Wears a Pittsburgh hat.

Another weapon that's not an actual weapon, Agent Orange is an herbicide and defoliant, most well-known for its use during the Vietnam War to help clear dense jungle and thus remove concealment for the Vietcong. The problem is that the Agent Orange mixture also contained a dioxin, a nasty chemical which, in high enough doses, causes all sorts of birth defects and assorted health problems. Look up Agent Orange in a google image search and....you'll see. The dioxin poisoning of Victor Yushchenko, the President of Ukraine, made news a few years ago - he used to look like this and then, all of a sudden, he looked like this. Agent Orange was, in other words, not a weapon but a colossal military fuck-up.