Class of 2015

Xanax
SS
Wears a Philadelphia hat.

Xanax is what you take if you're a panicky idiot, but not if you're a "duh duh" idiot. There's no pill you can take for that.

Class of 2014

Chief Justice Salmon P. Chase
SP
Wears a Cleveland hat.

They obviously don't circulate anymore, but if you're lucky enough to get your hands on one of the few remaining 10,000 dollar bills in existence, you'll see Chase's mug staring back at you. It's an arguable point, but I'd say that Chase is less famous for being Chief Justice than for being Secretary of Treasury during Lincoln's first term, which led to an interesting historical irony - as Secretary of Treasury, Chase (against his will, more or less) presided over the first printing by the Federal Government of paper currency, money which was unbacked by anything tangible - since the government had lots of war debts to pay, the easiest way of doing so was to simply print money and not worry too much about future inflation; as Chief Justice 10 years later, he determined that, by doing this, the government had violated the Constitution. Needless to say, this didn't stick, and today US currency (like most currencies around the world) is unbacked. If I was some Libertarian weirdo who had actually named his son Rand, I'd probably think Salmon P Chase was superhappyawesomefuntime for his stance against fiat money - since I'm not, he gets a meh-plus from me; some good, some bad, stupid name.