Class of 2037

Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman
RF
Wears a Cleveland hat.

Two things:
1) Sherman is one of the few people from this era with relatively modern-looking facial hair. I mean, look at the rest of these mutants. I wonder how he got his beard so trim. That shit must have taken some serious dedication.
2) I've never seen Gone with the Wind. I don't know if that makes me different from other people. Probably not - that movie is fucking long and it looks so boring. My direct film knowledge really doesn't go much further back than the 60's, outside of a few exceptions. People were pretty easily entertained by flickering images back then. Watch any war movie where the soldiers watch some old 30's or 40's movie, they're always so enraptured. Soldiers would be bored out of their fucking minds with those movies nowadays.


St. Bernard
RF/CF
Wears a Brooklyn hat.

If you were dying in the Alps and a St. Bernard came to your rescue with a brandy barrel around its neck, drinking that brandy would worsen your situation. But really, how could you refuse that face? (That brandy barrel shit is an urban legend, but it's kind of impossible to picture a St. Bernard without one.)

Class of 2036

Det. Thomas "Herc" Hauk
SS
Wears a Detroit hat.

One of the places in "The Wire" where verisimilitude isn't the order of the day is the accents. Since none of the main characters speak with a Baltimore accent, when a character does have one (like Dennis Mello, played by the real Jay Landsman, or the junior high principal, or on the black side of the ledger, Snoop Pearson) it's somewhat distracting. But anyone who's ever been around Bawlmer or the Eastern Shore knows that everyone there talks like that. Herc's accent stands out as obviously originating from New York, so much so that the show had to point out that the character comes from the Bronx.


HK416
3B/UT
Wears a New York (AL) hat.

It's a fucking assault rifle. This will hopefully be the last cock substitute I have to put in the Hall of Fame.

Dick Butkus
SP
Wears a Milwaukee hat.

When all is said and done, perhaps the definitive legacy of the turmoil that engulfed this country in the 60's and 70's is the hair. Shit, no one is going to remember what Woodstock was all about or the Vietnam War or any of that crap, but they'll have the pictures and they'll see the hair. Butkus is a perfect example of how this trend affected everyone, because a guy like him never would have let that sort of trend affect him in any other era.

Here's Illini Butkus. Close-cropped, no facial hair. The model of the early-60's football player.

Early Bears Butkus. The hair has gotten longer, and he's added sideburns. Everything is still pretty neat and put-together though. (This picture has a pretty significant Shrute resemblance to my eye.)

This is later Bears Butkus. He's added the iconic moustache. The hair is a bit more unruly, and the sideburns seem a bit bushier. This is the height of the Butkus Revolution.

80's or 90's Butkus. The Reagan Revolution sent Butkus into his natural state. The moustache remains, but the hair has reverted to the flattop of his youth. This is the state Butkus would calcify into. Youthful rebellion has ended.

Late-peroid Butkus. The hair's grayer and thinner, but he will never go back to the radical-chic look that he once sported. The dream of the 60's has officially died. Whatever comes next will have to do so without Butkus.