2B/SS
Wears a Chicago (AL) hat.
Moritz Bleibtreu was the dude who totally didn't deserve to have Franke Potente run after his broke ass in Run Lola Run. I don't recognize anything else on his IMDB page...wait, apparently he was in Munich. More on that movie later. For now, let's just chalk this up as another one of drew's bizarre Eurotrash man-crushes. If you want Mr. Bleibtreu's autograph, and you can read German, and you're (probably) drew, check here
Scythe
SS
Wears a New York (AL) hat.
A scythe is a tool that people used to use for harvesting before they invented the wheel or horses or something. I guess people in poor countries still use them. It's associated with Death (who is often pictured lugging it around) because Death is the harvester of souls. It is not associated with Death because he's going to lop your melon off with it. Can you imagine using this unwieldy piece of shit as a weapon, Tom? That's because it's not a weapon. You know how else I know it's not a weapon? Because no matter how many gold pieces you may be lugging around, you will not find one of these fuckers in a weapon shop from Neverwinter to Eastern Shaar. That's right, a D&D reference. You know what else you won't find in a weapon shop? Iron Rations. Have to go to the item shop for that one. But you'd better stock up, because there is literally nothing else to eat anywhere. Well, regular rations, but those are for peasants and blacksmiths and shit, people who don't spend their lives killing dragons and taking their treasure.
Mathieu Kassovitz
SP
Wears a Pittsburgh hat.
Mathieu Kassovitz wants you to know him as a filmmaker - unfortunately, the only English-language film he's made is the Halle Berry vehicle (and all around piece of shit) Gothika. Most likely, you know him either as the weird dude with all the pictures that Amelie inexplicably falls in love with, or the weedy little fucker from Munich who blows his own dumb ass up. Maybe that'll change soon, since he has another English-language movie coming out in 2008; then again, the movie stars Vin Diesel, so maybe not.
Morning Star
SP
Wears a New York (AL) hat.
A morning star is a spiked ball on a stick. Yawn. In Castlevania 2, you can upgrade to the morning star, which isn't really a morning star so much as it is a chain whip with a heavy ball on the end. Castlevania 2 is the black-sheep of the 8-bit Castlevania family, since it's weird and nonlinear and doesn't really have any level bosses. Lots of blocks that are actually bottomless pits though. I happen to like it a lot because I think it's the most evocative and atmospheric - it also has what might be the NES's all-time best soundtrack. The problem is that, without a strategy guide, it's essentially impossible. For instance, there's this one part where, in order to advance, you have to find a certain item, equip it, and then kneel (not stand) in front of a brick wall for like 5 seconds. There are some clues scattered about that indicate you have to do that but they're not terribly explicit - basically, unless you're a genius, you'd never figure it out on your own. There's a lot of Nintendo games like that, because Nintendo wanted to have this really cool system that had lots of difficult titles, but they didn't have the hardware to do it organically, so most of their games either A) are packed with a shitload of enemies, way more than a kid could reasonably be expected to deal with or B) have puzzles that are essentially impossible to solve without a strategy guide. So when you were a kid, and you couldn't beat a game, you thought something must be wrong with you, but in reality it was the game that was fucked. Nobody ever told you that though, so most people my age harbor deep insecurity issues. Fuck you Nintendo.
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