Class of 2026

C.R.E.A.M.
C
Wears a Pittsburgh hat.

Can Raekwon Enjoy Another Muffin? (It doesn't matter, he's going to have one anyway.)




Dick Diver
SS
Wears a St. Louis hat.

Dives for dicks, and the occasional bag of dicks. (lol, all women are crazy, both fictional and real.)




Emerson Drive
LF
Wears a Cincinnati hat.

The enemy fleet was rapidly approaching. The Captain, sweat dripping from his brow, barked orders at his first mate.
"The Cylons are closing fast! Is the Emerson Drive ready?"
"Almost set, Captain Kirk! Just a few more calculations.....there!"
"Punch it, Chewie!"
The ship lurched, the stars flared into star bursts, and the crew exploded into spontaneous applause. The Drive had worked. The Spice was safe.


Hedda Gabler
3B
Wears a St. Louis hat.

Manipulative cunt. Norwegian.


Iggy Pop
SP
Wears a New York (NL) hat.

Part time rocker, part time bad actor, one-time junkie. Does not believe in shirts. Not Dr. Manhattan.



Monsieur Meursault
SP
Wears a St. Louis hat.

W supposedly read this on one of his brush-clearing environmental rescue trips to his ranch in Crawford. It'll take a team of psychiatrists to figure that shit out.