Class of 1968 (Initial Class)

Shawn Michaels
CF/3B
Wears a Chicago (AL) hat

1 MVP, 3 top 5 MVP finishes. Finished his career in the top 20 in HR's, Hits, RBI, Runs, Slg, OBP, OPS and Avg. First pick in the initial OGL draft. Winner of "Most Steroids Used" and "Most Latently Homosexual" Superlatives.



Big Red Bear
CF
Wears a New York (AL) hat.

1 ROY, 4 MVP's, one other top 5 MVP finish. Finished in the top 20 in HR's, Hits, RBI, Runs, Slg, OPS. Is just as adorable as Cornell's attempts to play big-boy sports.



Rev Run
2B
Wears a Chicago (NL) hat.

4 MVP's. Finished in the top 20 in Slg, OBP, OPS and Avg. Once part of the biggest act in hip-hop, is now sort of pathetically irrelevant to the point of attempting an Osbornes-esque reality show. Wears a hat.



The Red Terror
LF
Wears a Cleveland hat.

3 MVP's plus one other top 5 finish. Finished in the top 20 in HR, RBI, Slg, OPS and Avg. Continues to be a piece of molded plastic touched only by hands which have never known the loving caress of a woman.



Youppi!
LF
Wears a New York (AL) hat.

1 MVP plus 5 other top 5 finishes. Finished in the career top 20 in HR, Hits, RBI, Runs, Slg, OBP, OPS, Avg. Is tragically unloved.



Alice
SP
Wears a St. Louis hat.

2 Cy Youngs plus 3 other top 5 finishes. Finished in the top 20 in wins, shutouts, ERA and WHIP. Unanimous HOF selection. Winner of "Most precocious" and "Most likely to have adventures in a dreamworld which scares the crap out of all right-minded children" superlatives.



Beavis
SP
Wears a Boston hat.

4 Cy Youngs plus 3 other top 5 finishes. Finished in the top 20 in wins, shutouts, ERA, WHIP and K's. Unanimous selection. Used to like lighting things on....something. Winner of "Most annoying impression for your idiot buddy to do, 1994-1997" superlative.



Mario Mario
SP
Wears a Detroit hat.

2 Cy Youngs plus 4 other top 5 finishes. Finished in the top 20 in wins, shutouts, ERA, WHIP and K's. Generally considered an archetype for Italian people, all of whom are fat plumbers with ridiculous Old-World accents and questionable taste in clothing. Winner of "Most likely to appear in some crap Nintendo game that had Mario and his friends hastily added to the engine to ensure it'll sell" superlative.