Class of 1981

Grandma Moses
SP
Wears a Detroit hat.

2 Cy Young awards plus 6 other top 5 finishes and 1 other top 10 finish. Top 20 all-time in Wins, Shutouts, ERA, WHIP and K's.
Grandma Moses didn't pick up painting until she was in her 70's, spending much of her life before that time in and out of the protective custody of the state. One of her most well-known paintings, "8-Ball Getting Jacked By Crips Dressed Like Crackheads" was inspired by a real-life incident when Ms. Moses, behind on her payment to local hustler/pimp Freddy "Gunga Din" Cornwell, was in the middle of robbing a neighborhood liquor store when getaway driver Ernie "8-Ball" Fredericks had his getaway car stolen by a group of neighborhood Crips disguised as crack addicts. Ms. Moses would frequently tell the story in her later years with a smile on her face, but it is unlikely she was smiling when she enacted the imfamous and incredibly disturbing punishment on local crime lord Ulysses "Iguana" Thomason that put her on the map in the crime underworld. She never painted that particular scene, although crime scene photographs are still passed around amongst collectors of such things, taking their rightful place alongside photos of Fou-Tchou-Li as the most prized pieces of arcana among that subset.


Jack Bauer
SP
Wears a Pittsburgh hat.

ROY award, 1 Cy Young award. 1 top 5 finish in Fireman award voting. Top 20 all-time in Wins, ERA, WHIP, K's.
What the hell does Jack Bauer do on the days that he isn't saving the universe. I guess the easy answer would be "drinks, a lot" but that would be pejorative and uncalled-for. Mostly I just picture him sitting around in his underwear, watching the Price is Right and eating Golden Grahams and waiting for the phone to ring about another goddamn plot that threatens civilization as we know it. I imagine he spends at least part of his day amusing himself by making fun of Kim for falling into a bear trap. Do you think there are other guys like Jack, foiling other plots around the world? Or was his resume so good that the people who hired him said, you know what, we'll never do better than this, let's just let him handle all of this shit.