Class of 1971

Wal*Mart
2B
Wears a New York (AL) hat.

ROY top 5. Top 20 in 4 statistical categories (HR, Hits, RBI, Runs)
Not the corporate giant, but a fairly low-level parody of the corporate giant. About as funny as its namesake's copy of Richard Pryor's landmark comedy album "That Nigger's Crazy". Has a longstanding feud with fellow alter-ego TARGET that is the message board equivalent of dead air.



Joe Strummer
SP
Wears a New York (NL) hat.
8 Cy Youngs, plus 5 other top 5 finishes. Top 20 in 5 statistical categories (Wins, Shutouts, ERA, WHIP, K's)
Punk icon, actor, reggae shill. About as cool as it gets for a graduate of a fruity English boarding school.



Phoenix Lord Baharroth
SP
Wears a Cleveland hat.

1 Cy Young plus 3 other top 5 finishes. Top 20 in 4 statistical categories (Wins, Shutouts, ERA, K's)
"Baharroth is believed to be the finest pupil of Asurmen. He was the winged Phoenix and founder of the Swooping Hawk Aspect."
If you understand what those words mean, there is about a 95% chance that you sweat Mountain Dew and artificial cheese flavoring. Copiously.



Reginald Iolanthe Perrin
SP
Wears a Washington hat.

2 Cy Young awards. 1 World Series MVP. Top 20 in 4 statistical categories (Wins, Shutouts, ERA, WHIP)
From "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin". Most famous for the last episode of the first season where Reginald faked his suicide by leaving his clothes on a beach and running into the ocean. Ironically, he was unsuccessful in his attempt due to the fact that a family of Japanese tourists spotted him and mobbed him, assuming he was filming a British sitcom, since all British sitcoms involve several jokes about pasty old white guys showing the audience their bare ass.