Class of 1969

Morrissey
C
Wears a New York (NL) hat.

Top 5 in ROY. 1 MVP, 3 other top 5 finishes. Finished his career in the top 20 in HR, Hits, RBI and Runs. Is an effeminate nancy-boy who writes overwrought, "poetic" song lyrics and doesn't like synthesizers. But at least he's not a ginger like Mick Hucknall.



Yossarian
2B
Wears a St. Louis hat.

1 MVP. Finished in the top 20 for his career in OBP, Slg, OPS and Avg. Is...ah shit, I have nothing clever to write here. Read the book.



Doug E. Fresh
SP
Wears a New York (NL) hat.

5 top 5 finishes in Cy Young. Finished in the top 20 for his career in Wins, Shutouts, ERA, WHIP and K's. Not quite as funny as that guy from Police Academy. Has probably spent more time with Slick Rick than is generally recommended by the Surgeon General.



Megaman
SP
Wears a Detroit hat.

1 Cy Young plus 5 other top 5 finishes. Finished in the top 20 for his career in Wins, Shutouts, ERA, WHIP and K's. For some reason is known as Rockman by the Japanese, which is just more proof that the Japanese are a goddamn weird bunch. Unless, I guess, he's made out of rocks.